As a psychotherapist, I have the privilege of witnessing incredible journeys of growth and healing. I would like to share a story – with the individual's kind permission – that illustrates how therapy can bring about profound and positive change. 

This is 'Angela’s' experience, shared with the hope that it may offer comfort and understanding to others considering taking their own first steps towards professional counselling. 

Seeking Help for Anxiety

Angela felt that she had lived with a constant hum of anxiety for as long as she could remember. It had woven its way into the fabric of her daily life, affecting her sleep, her relationships, and her ability to enjoy things she once loved. 

Often, the anxiety felt like a heavy weight on her chest, a racing heart, and a barrage of catastrophic thoughts that she was unable to silence. Finally, on the brink of walking away from her job and her relationship, she decided it was time to seek support for her wellbeing.

The First Encounter of Therapy

When Angela first came to see me, she was understandably nervous. We spent our initial sessions building trust and creating a safe space for her to share her experiences. She described how her anxiety would spike at unpredictable times, sometimes triggered by specific situations like social gatherings or work deadlines, but usually feeling like a constant, underlying presence.

Over the first session, I invited Angela to talk a little more about her anxious feelings, how her body felt, and the types of thoughts that arose when she felt this way.

Finding Patterns with Journalling

To help Angela gain a clearer understanding of her anxiety patterns, we started using journaling. I suggested she take a few moments throughout the day to jot down her thoughts and feelings, particularly when she noticed her anxiety levels rising or when she was feeling calm, rating those feelings each time.

This simple act of noting down her thoughts and feelings proved incredibly insightful for Angela.

With a short period of time, Angela began to see patterns emerging. She noticed that seemingly small interactions at work could trigger a cascade of negative thoughts, leading to a significant increase in her anxiety.

Identifying Triggers and 'Hot Spots'

Angela also found that her anxiety tended to be higher in the evenings, often fuelled by ‘flashbacks’ of the day's events where she felt she had made a mistake, or offended someone unintentionally.

Her strong internal belief and deep-seated desire not to disappoint others or perform badly clashed with her vivid mental replays of doing just that. We explored the impact of this cognitive dissonance on her anxiety, and how her 'black and white thinking' - and tendency to catastrophise - created a distorted version of reality.

Using Mindfulness to Create 'Space'

As Angela often found it difficult to discuss her feelings without feeling anxious, we began to integrate some mindfulness techniques, such as breathing exercises.

The aim here was not to suppress the anxious thoughts, but to become more aware of the body's response to them. This provided Angela with an increased sense of control, enabling her to 'observe' what was going on for her when intrusive thoughts began to bubble up.

Finding Answers in the Past

Able now to analyse her thoughts more objectively, Angela began to make connections between her anxious thoughts and childhood events. From a very early age, failing to do 'well' would result in being reprimanded by her parents. Thus, growing up, Angela felt that anything short of perfection was 'failure'.

Now, as an adult, Angela's way of avoiding failure was to be more careful, more diligent, and to go to extreme efforts to avoid this painful scenario.

'Good Enough': Softening Expectations

As we explored the concept of 'good enough', Angela slowly began to soften expectations of herself, changing her negative internal vocabulary and embracing more realistic standards Nearing the end of our sessions, she relayed that she was managing to do this more and more in everyday situations.

Slowly but surely, Angela felt the constant hum of anxiety begin to quieten. She reported feeling more present in her daily life, her sleep improved, and she started to re-engage with activities she had begun to avoid due to the anxiety these would cause her.

Healing Takes Time - and Effort

It's important to know that this wasn't a quick fix, and there were challenging days. But Angela’s commitment to the process and her willingness to practice these techniques outside of our sessions made a significant difference. 

This is really at the heart of therapy - whilst we can uncover underlying issues, and gain meaningful insights, to move forward in a sustainable way we must be willing to stretch out of our comfort zone, and proactively integrate change into our everyday lives.

Choosing Change

Angela’s journey is a powerful reminder that while severe anxiety can feel all-encompassing, with the right support and tools, it need not be something 'you're stuck with'. Deciding to reach out for support is the first step towards regaining control and balance in your life.

If you are living with anxiety or other issues that are impacting your well-being, please know that you don't have to do this alone. Get in touch to discuss how Integrative Therapy can help you.